He uses pillows to masturbate.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
