So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize