We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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