I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude i'm inner monologue high
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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