Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
