You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
