I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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