Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
