hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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