So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
