New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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