You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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