did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
