in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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