I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just googled if crying burns calories
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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