You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So vagazzling was a success
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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