I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
