i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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