Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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