I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
