"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
