I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
