i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
