i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
