You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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