Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
