Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.

Fav 38 5202 1059
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(404): View more from Georgia

Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis

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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(817): View more from Texas

Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.

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(716): View more from New York

I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.

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(315): View more from New York

she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.

Fav 0 9 39
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