I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize