and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
