i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need a beard to bite.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
