No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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