i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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