And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
