My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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