What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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