Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
