Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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