Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
