you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
