I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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