need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
