i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
