dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
