I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
