smell my finger.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
