oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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