Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
