what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
