Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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