i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
