Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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