I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
