i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
