He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
