it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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