i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
