if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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