Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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