Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
