Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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